"you're not safe in your own family"
so what do you do when the person who has basically caused all the trauma in your life wants to "help" you? When you are supposed to go somewhere safe in order to heal, but nowhere is safe? You tell your mom and she just catastrophizes and wishes she never would have gotten married and starts blaming herself. They wonder what you talked about in counseling but you can't really just say, 'well you traumatized me and that caused my brain to create an extreme emotional response to any situation in which I don't feel safe, even though rationally  and psychologically I am fully aware that I don't have to react that way.  So telling me to just not let it bother me, or 'just get over it' is just about the least helpful thing you could ever say.
Memories can continually be unzipped and re-zipped with new emotions every time you recall them..  this is why exposure therapy doesn't work when the trauma keeps coming back.  you have to feel safe in order to progress.  Finally a psychologist who is helpful, who doesn't scold me and make me feel like I have more problems than I really have.  But I have to keep it inside still.  So for all of you who told me to "just be happy"  "don't let it bother you" get over it" etc.  I pity you.
You will never understand.