That's So Raven

sometimes I look at pinterest and I say to myself, "that's so mormon" then other times I look at tumblr and I say, "that's so not mormon"

This stuff is the bomb dot com

BB Cream

Thank heavens for Amazon and being able to order stuff of this here internetz.

I remember the stupid things...you don't dream for me no.

Out of all the guys I have dated, there was only one left that isn't married yet, but he just got engaged.  But that one may have totally been my fault since I may have freaked out a little when he tried to kiss me, which made him hate me... I wonder why...I mean don't get me wrong, totally happy for them, I just find it funny, my super power if you will, of getting guys married I guess. 
On an unrelated note; soy sauce.  Add that to the list of can't eats. 
I should be trying to sleep right now since I have to work in the morning for eight hours and then work for probably eight more when I get home...but here I am! And I think I am 'writing a missionary' now, not really sure how that happened.  I am probably going to give in and finally buy an iphone, I really want to further my hipster image.  Anyone got any good music suggestions?  I am in a bit of a music rut for the time being... Bon Iver is being pretty good to me right now however.  Probably one of the best concerts I have been to, all awkward dating situations at the time aside. I found out earlier that the ny fairytale couple, the one with this website: NYGirlOfMyDreams.com, they met on a subway and then he found her with the website, well they broke up after two months, so sad right? (these are the things I look up at work between phone calls.) On a happier note, (C that's a happy note right?) the Hunger Games comes out soon, everyone is happy about that right? (I won't place my opinions because I might get shot or told to become a tribute or something...) really though, life is freaking awesome. 

Except I really won't, because I'm lazy.  Let's see... It has been four days and I have not eaten anything processed, any dairy, red meat, wheat/gluten, oats, beans, peanuts, honey, sugar, agave, tomatoes, soy, corn, etc.  What can I eat you ask? Still perfecting that.. so far I love rice chips and almond or coconut milk yogurt.  Salad with spicy mustard/evoo/lemon juice dressing and some pecans and maybe a strawberry.  Some of the Lara bars without peanuts or walnuts in them are great. 
Yeah...I really don't know why anyone reads this...

perfection

Sugar withdrawals

That is the conclusion that I have come to, I am having sugar withdrawals, therefore I have a headache and want to punch anybody that comes near me, and my skin hurts.  I sure love this journey of becoming healthy.  Lord help me if I ever did drugs.  Really I would die.  A xanax induced panic attack came pretty close that one time.  So there you have it, that is what I should be focused on; work and health. Or the other way around I guess.  Not stupid little things like why I'm the one who gets kamikazied (you know how there is a wingman, well little known fact is the third "wingman" the kamikaze who takes down the ugliest girl leaving the prettier ones for Maverik and Goose- if I remembered where I heard that I would give credit, but my memory fails me on this one) but I don't want to change who I am, I know I'm attractive, different, and the fact that I don't jump up and down and scream over balloons or the like... well... I'm not a five year old anymore. 

Paleo Diet

So...the paleo diet, I think that is what I am going to have to do, day one and it is freaking hard, I have a headache from not enough carbs already.  So if anyone has any recipes or anything, don't hesitate to send them my way.

take it with crackers, bread, or a small meal...I promise you're gonna like the way it makes you feel

(warning: contains offensive language)
so basically this brings me right back to when I went to Utah State.

This is going to be all over the place but I don't care. To the girl who wants to go on a mission so that she will find her husband first and not have to go...Seriously?! and then to say that only happens to the girls who actually want to go... on the plus side, I survived speed dating at the singles ward tonight, whatever loose definition of survived you want to use.  Just kidding, but seriously.  (<---a real winner I dated liked to say that one all the time) I successfully avoided the chocolate because, oh yeah, I can't eat beans, dairy, red meat, gluten, or non tree nuts anymore among other things.  I never realized how much it bugs people when you don't eat dessert or I guess food in general.  Talked to a definite potential for awhile but despite his love for Scrubs, couldn't get over the fact that he wore a Spongebob tie to church.  Too picky?  I don't really want that right now though, my loves right now are my beautiful new (to me) car and some sweet indie rock.  So here's to hope.  Hope that one day we can look back and laugh, know it was all worth it.  Because as William Goldman says, the point is that life isn't fair, that's really what it's about.  But I think the fairness comes in realizing how far you've come and where it led you, it is that hope that one day you'll see why it all played out the way it did.

Uteruses before Duderuses

First of all, happy Galentines day!
Second of all, there is no second of all...

sweeping declaration

I am done trying to get dates.  Done feeling like I am in high school again because I definitely didn't almost wreck my car trying to see who was kissing each other in the parking lot today...

also, this wasn't the look on my face when I didn't almost hit a parked car.  And I definitely wasn't thinking 'Get yo dang lips off mah man (who doesn't know I exist)'.

Also, I made up a word that fittingly describes most of what I post on here... cynicasm.  The perfect mixture of sarcasm and cynicism.

Hi mkdlpaoiejiofpopijg bye. okay bye.

I just now realized how out of practice I have become at the art of dating.  (yes it is an art, and I can barely draw stick figures) Okay and what is even worse is that it isn't dating. I am not dating.  It was just a stupid phone call about church stuff, but I just wouldn't shut up, and I kept looking for a way to end it, but it just kept going.  I'm not going to lie, my ward is pretty slim pickin's  so when one of the guys from the fatter end of the spectrum (read: opposite of slim pickin's, not opposite of skinny, just the right amount of body fat actually...) calls me, it's about to get awkward up in here, up in here.  Not to mention the fact that he thinks I am a different person every time he sees me.  Now excuse me while I criticize myself over every dumb thing I just said.  And how to stop doing that... one day. I'm just going to go back to reading the Princess Bride again and get all emotional over Westley and Buttercup's love, is that weird?

dating analogy

ok I have officially perfected it.  How dating and photography follow the same rules..
you need:
lighting
luck
timing
and... good equipment.

psycho scientist

So I am reading this book called "overcoming shyness" read: "How to feel better about yourself and stop beating yourself up since you are more intelligent and psychologically aware than most and that's why everyone thinks you are shy" that's a more fitting title in my humble opinion anyway.  I read a few chapters in between phone calls during my 8 hour shift today.  So much I want to write about it, but I won't bore you with the details.  [insert my opinions on psychology, our culture, etc.] and that's all I'm saying for now.