update: This was Joaquin/Condom Couch... I did kiss him in the end, but as so many things help me to realize... what we think we want most isn't always right. I recently read something so beautiful and telling about situations like this:
“I am trying to see things in perspective. My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot have this, because chocolate makes dogs very sick. My dog does not understand this. She pouts and wraps herself around my leg like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in, she eventually gives up and lays in the corner, under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the universe has my best interest in mind like I have my dog’s. When I want something with my whole being, and the universe withholds it from me, I hope the universe thinks to herself: "Silly girl. She thinks this is what she wants, but she does not understand how it will hurt.”
— THEORIES ABOUT THE UNIVERSE by Blythe Baird
but I would replace the universe with God. Personally.
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