The strength of blood

I don't know why it bothers me so much when my nail polish starts chipping. Once it does I pick at it until it's all gone, I can't help it.

Entropy. Order to chaos. Everything eventually becomes chaos, that is the natural state of man. The government, day to day relationships, family, it's all whirring through my mind, it's all falling apart.

I paint over the top of each nail with a polymer shield so it won't chip, a feeble and symbolic attempt to keep everything from falling apart. I'm too afraid to call and find out what's really happening, I'm not sure if I really want to bring those emotions to the surface again. I'm afraid the longer I put it off, the worse it will get. I just don't want to hear my mom cry anymore, she deserves so much more, we all do.